We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
