They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
