I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
