we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
