You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
