Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
