Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
