dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
