bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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