Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
