I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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