Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
