i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I am never drinking with the goths again.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
