Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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