Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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