i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
