first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
