May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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