I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize