Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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