Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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