It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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