I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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