My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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