You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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