who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
