My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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