I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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