If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
