Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
