yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
