the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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