How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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