If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
