Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
