You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
