The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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