We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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