Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Umm I'm too high to move.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just gargled with NyQuil
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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