I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Randomize
