8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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