guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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