Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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