If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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