jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
