I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Enjoy the penises
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
