It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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