that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
