Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
