i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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