Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
