i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
The best walk of shames are on the highway
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
